怒

其实现在心里的气都消了。。
可是当时在一气之下答应了某某，
我就只好守信用写这篇帖子咯。。

很好笑的咯。。
第二名又怎么样？难不成就一定是天才啊？
既然（有些人）这么聪明，
就别问我啊--

我又没有要你们问我，
拜托，我自认自己不聪明好不好--
做错了又在那边啐啐念。。
我就是那么笨，你们去问第一名的啊
我还省时间呢。。

p/s.. 这世上就是有很多这种人。。

dance . subaru! 舞吧 。 昂！

lol. 昨天到1 utama 的 gsc 观赏了这一部电影，蛮不错的~
故事描述一个家境不怎么富裕的女孩的成长故事，热爱舞蹈的她，
芭蕾舞就是她的世界，她的一切。
追寻舞蹈梦想的过程中，昂遇到了种种的挫折，从而使她变得坚强。

这一部电影，真的很有启发力。
我想了很久。。。

追寻自己的梦想，是时候了。。

tagged. - again?? - by my dear sis..caryl. =)

1.Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to be kissed?
~ cheeks. or forehead. =)
2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
~ nothing special.. just very tired.
3. Who was the last person you took pics with?
~ my friends? - I think so. -
4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
~ sometimes...
5. Will you ever donate blood?
~ no I suppose.. - I'm afraid of injection.. xp -
6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
~ yeah...
7. Do you want someone to be dead?
~ huh? no..
8. What does your last text msg say?
~ uh.. from wk..um.. I don't wanna write it here.. can I? - haha -
9. What are you thinking of right now?
~ nothing special..
10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
~ uh..nope..
11. What time did you go to bed last night?
~ about eleven something?
12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
~ well.. someone bought it for me.. I'm not sure.
13. Is someone on your mind right now?
~ yeah? still.. him?
14. Who was the last person who texted you?
~ him?
Ten lucky people to do this quiz:
1. khai ying
2. jen sning
3. pei yi
4. wai kee
5. joey
6. yee wah
7. adam
8. yee teng
9. zheng ying
10. --

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
~ um.. wan he?
16. Is no.3 a male or female?
~ female.
17. If no.7 and no.1 got together, would it be good?
~ haha.. never thought of it.
18. What is no.1 studying about?
~ oh I don't know.. mostly books.
19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
~ some today.. some a few days ago..
20. Is no.4 single?
~ er.. yes?
21. Say something about no.2.
~ a.. perfect girl.
22. What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together?
~ no way.
23. Describe no.9.
~ a cute and smart girl. =)
24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight?
~ swt..I don't think they'll fight.
25. Do you like no.8?
~ yup. she's a friend who can shares secrets.

如果。。

如果这世上有 ‘ 如果 ’。。
那我要许5个愿望。。

如果，早在一开始，我没有那么冲动，告诉他。。
' 我喜欢你 '..
那么现在的我又会是如何？

如果。。早在那个星期六，我没有看见他的笑容。。
如果。。我因此而没有喜欢上他。。
现在的我，又怎么样？

如果。。我没有参与那个历史的活动。。
没有因此而传简讯给他。。提醒他。。
现在，结局会是这样吗？

如果愿望能够实现。。
我想回到年中考的前一天。。
我们在高二文爱排桌椅的时候。。

如果可以。。
我希望这是一场梦，在我面前化为泡影。。消失。。

无题？

我觉得自己很好笑的咯。。
在学校就可以笑得那么自在，
回到家心情就异常低落。。
不要告诉我又是因为今天看到的那几幕。。
已经很努力的在克制自己了
祖仪，这个方法。。
真的行得通吗？。。或许要花很长的时间吧。。
不知道为什么，最近很懒的做功课，预习。。
不想碰到课本--就一直在那边发呆。。也不知道在想什么。。
我真的变得很奇怪了！或许，最近天空好像乌云密布的，
情绪被它感染了吧。。（幸好不是感染H1N1..xp)

曾经有那么一分钟，我还以为是渊阳站在那边。。
原来都是幻觉。。我果然还活在过去的世界里。。

我真的好自私。。根本没有权利干涉你的生活
却表现得那么在乎。。
矛盾。。从一开始，是我自己把你推开
可是现在呢？？为什么那么在乎？为什么为你哭泣？

我渐渐感觉到了。。那种冷漠的感觉。。
从一开始就很清楚，最后只会是我自己徘徊在陌生与冷漠的世界间。。
呵。。真的很可笑。。原来我这么自作多情。。

开始厌倦了，这种生活。。
只会令我更痛苦而已。。
不想再为任何人的一句话而影响自己了。。
这个决心，我是不会再改了。。

可是，就给我最后一次的机会，再发泄，再哭一次。。
矛盾。。自私。。自作多情。。我真的好像一个笨蛋。。


凯莹，祖仪，佩仪，宜华。。
到底要怎么样，才可以变回以前快乐的我。。

第一次做facial..

真的好痛好痛哦。。T.T
不过为了自己的脸，我还是会忍的。。
在敷面膜的过程中，我累得快要睡着了。。x.x
下一次的约会（洗脸啦），是在下个月的21号--有点期待，可是又很怕。。
当那个（护士）在用某种刺刺的东西刺我的脸的时候，我痛得快要哭了，
那个（护士）就对我说。。‘ 想象你很快乐的时候。。。’
不知为什么，我会联想到---
唉，又是在发白日梦。。
根本就是个遥不可及的梦。。
想太多。。

我校隆中华的学术学艺展，
场面很是壮观！身为学生的我，不由得感到十分自豪~xp
为期两天的展览，我都有出席，太好玩了嘛。。
不过，最主要的目的是为了要观赏舞蹈和身心创意的表演~
很可惜。。每次都错过舞蹈表演，所以只看到身心创意的表演咯。。:(
不过，他们也跳得不错啊~~
能够看到他们的演出，我已经很高兴了。:)


----另一个他？？----
昨天，本来想看舞蹈表演的，怎知道却错过了
而。。看见的是合唱团的演出。
不经意的瞄了一下合唱团的团员，却发现。。
有一个很像他的人耶！！
远看，十分之九的相似
近看，十分之五的相似。。
今天叫佩仪去看一下，她又说懒得看。。
算了咯。。反正我觉得像就对了~~


我开始怀疑
到底哪个才是真正的你？
冷漠。。热情。。陌生。。轻浮。。真心。。
眼前的你，又是怎么回事？
越来越搞不懂。。


----第一次有这种感觉----
等待了一整天，还是没有结果。。
为什么我却不觉得不耐烦，反而开始担心？
担心你出事，担心你是否病的太重，太多太多的忧虑。。
为什么朋友再三的劝告，再三的讽刺
我的心却毫无动摇？
似乎下定了决心一样。。

一次次的期待，化为心碎与无奈。。

I'm still living in the past..

oh yeah. saw her today.
but i don't want to give any comment on her.. in case i get into trouble.
bluek~

too bad.. can't write in chinese now..haizz..
have too many stuffs to write.. maybe tommorow?
I'll write as soon as possible.

maybe I'll be going to school tommorow..
I hope I can. XD
cause I still have many things to see.
yeah.. too many memories...

开心？真的吗？

回到学校帮忙历史老师--历史学会筹备学术，学艺展
还蛮开心的，就一直在那边帮忙写字。。
凯莹就画画，佩仪就。。（你在干吗啊？）==
至少不用待在家，想那些令我头疼的事。。
二十四节铃鼓的表演--超帅的！（我跟凯莹偷偷溜出去看，佩仪就一直在那边催我们回去。。）swt...

唉。。明天不能去学校了，都是凯莹和佩仪咯。。（开玩笑啦，我没有怪你们的意思。。）
不过。。也算了。。
我本来想来学校帮忙的目的，还不是（。。。）
既然事情演变成这种地步，我也只好打消这个争取的念头。。

heart. numbed. grief.

try not to care
try not to hear
try not to think...
I thought I succeeded..
but actually I didn't...
I was smiling..joking...laughing...
but in the bottom of my heart
it was bleeding...

I thought everything is going to be okay
but I was so...wrong. khai ying, pei yi...
don't have to worry about me,
I'm okay. Seriously...

I realised it was all a dream
and I'm the only one who's thinking
how could I be so stupid...

不再相信。。
我终于知道什么是真正的失望
什么是真正的不舍得。。
不需要同情 我答应过自己不会再哭的。。

争取，或不争取，
对我来说。。。 已经不重要了。。。

crazy day..

okay. it's really bored. really really bored.
I'm almost going to faint when teacher said "you have to pass up your mini-mac tommorow. before twelve."
WHAT---？？！！
t0mmorow? before twelve?? I can't do this~! It's just... totally crazy!!!
haiz... but i just have >to do this.. or else we're disqualified..
well... I saw something i really didn't want to see.. it's just making me even crazier..!!
okay ignore it. Let's say I'm dreaming. It's just a fake figure. ohhh.. WHATEVER~~~!!!

自寻烦恼..zz

开学的第一天，就好像病了一样
或许是因为身体不舒服的关系，整个人也变得闷闷不乐的。。
回到家，想了想 〉
我再烦什么啊？。。。 。。。
振作振作~！ 不许再胡思乱想了。。想些有的没的 x.x
弹了钢琴，和凯莹聊了半个小时左右。。
真不敢相信我竟然。。swt...
不会吧。。

movie? school?

oohh. went to the cinema and watched 17 again.
( well i know it's a bit late..)
gosh~! Zac effron's really cool!
by the way.. my mum's just way more crazier than me.
keep saying she's gonna buy his poster and stick it in my room. swt...

in fact, Zac effron's just a p.e.r.f.e.c.t guy~!!!
can't imagine this world can have such a perfect guy like him..

p/s..tommorow school's gonna reopen.. felt quite bored..
prepare for exam(s) again. I don't want to!

我不愿相信。。

突然觉得好陌生

就好像。。你已经不是那个你了

我就像变成了她

而她。。则变成了我。。

是这样吗？

我希望不是，但我却开始怀疑

开始担心。。

或许时间真的能改变一切。。

感觉

早上。7：50 a.m.
自然醒。
拿起手机，听着周杰伦的 安静。
眼眶开始红了 视线开始模糊不清
我闭上眼睛 不想再次哭泣
想着。。想着。。

还记得那天，我听见你的声音
兴奋得说不出话来。

还记得那天，我看着你们
心里觉得好苦涩

还记得那天，我坐在电脑前
放生大哭

。。。
。。。

有太多的回忆
太多的不舍

我告诉自己不许再想了
振作振作~！

永远，到底能有多远？
我开始不再相信你说的话
但怎么却又想起了你。。

tagged. --by caryl, my dear sister

001. Real name: Choong Qian Xuan

002. Nickname(s): Xuan xuan, apple..

003. Age: 13

004. Horoscope: scorpio

005. Male or Female: hey it's obvious..x.x

006. Elementary: SJK(C) Yuk Chai

007. Middle School: Chong Hua Independent High School

008. High School: huh? i don't know yet..

009. College school: mm..

.010. Hair colour: um... black and brown? mixture of colours? XD

011. Long or short: short x.x

012.Loud or Quiet: both :D

013. Sweats or Jeans: jeans

014. Phone or Camera: phone

015. Health freak: not really...

016. Drink or Smoke: no way!

017. Do you have a crush on someone: um... yes? no? well..

018. Eat or Drink: zz.. of course!

019. Piercings: eww.. i hate it :x

020. Tattoos: dislike it..

021. Social or Anti-Social: both~

022. Righty or Lefty: righty.(:

023. First piercing : I'm not gonna do this!

024. First relationship: uh.. i don't know..

025. First Best Friend: hmm... adam? i've known him since i was a baby XD

026. First Award: forgotten.

027. First Kiss: when i'm older..

028. First Pet: hmm... i think it's a ... bunny?

029. First Big Vacation: Thailand I suppose.

030. First Love at first sight: never tried it before..

031. First Big Birthday: forgotten..

032. First Surgery: nope.

033. First sport you joined: badminton?

034. Orange or Apple Juice: apple :D yummy~

035. Rock or Rap: none of them.. ==

036. Country or Screamo: country

037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: Backstreet Boys? what is NSYNC??!!

038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera: um... Britney spears?

039. Night or Day: day and night.

040. Sun or Moon: moon with stars~><

041. TV or Internet: internet xp

042. Playstation or xbox: none of them?

043. Kiss or hug: both! haha..xp

044. Iguana or turtle: zz. I don't like them either.

045. Spider or bee: eww.. i hate insects. especially cockroaches!!

046. Fall or spring: hmm... i prefer fall then xp

047. Limewire or iTunes: huh?

048. Soccer or baseball: none of them?

049. Eating: rice.

050. Drinking: water.

051. Excitement level: high and low. :D

052. I’m about to: play the piano

053. Listening to: mad by ne-yo.

054. Plan for today: nothing special..

055. Waiting for: my friend's call?

056. Energy level: half?

057. Thinking of someone: uh... just now..

058. Want kids: don't think so for now..

059. Want to get married: yeah? maybe older?

060. When: When it's the right time. xp

061. How many kids do you want: oh stupid question.

062. Any name in mind: swt.. ==

063. What did you want to be when you were young?: a cook I suppose?

064. Careers in mind: pianist? cook?

065. Mellow future or wild: huh?

066. Something you would never try: anything dangerous.

067. When do you want to die: I don't want to!

068. Lips or Eyes: both.

069. Romantic or Funny: both.

.070. Shorter or Taller: taller.

071. Protective or Caring: both.

072. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic. XD

074. Sensitive or Loud: both.

075. Hooked-up or Relationship: Relationship.

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant: um.. none of them?

077. Muscular or Normal: normal. :D

078. Kissed a stranger: never. ==

079. Broke a bone: wouldn't like to try that..

080. Lost glasses or contacts: nope.

081. Ran away from home: never! i'll miss my mum..

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense: fake ones. Haha..

083. Killed somebody: no of course.. or else i'm suppose to be in jail now..

084. Broken someone’s heart: uh.. maybe yes?

085. Had your heart broken: yeah..

086. Been arrested: no.

087. Cried when someone died: forgotten.

088. Liked a friend more than a friend: yeah?

089. Yourself: hmm.. fat?

090. Miracles: yeah.

091. Love at first sight: never!

092. Heaven: yeah. lol..

093. Santa Claus: nope..

.094. Tooth fairy: no.

095. Kiss in the first date: no.

096. Angels: yup~x)

097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?: him? i don't know..

098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now? : yeah.. I'll try to be happy always.

099. Do you believe in God? : nope.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 6 people

01. Jen Sning (interested :D )
02. Joey
03. Wai Kee
04. Adam
05. Pei Yi (come on..)
06. Khai Ying? i hope you can...

over means over.

(sneeze..) feel sick today..
went to park with khai ying, pei yi, adam..yesterday.
It was...quite fun.
oh yea. Saw yuen yang and his little brother. (hey. I thought he's supposed to be in Australia or something like that. oh wtv.)

jogged with khai ying about 4 rounds.
chat many stuffs--and i think it's time to make a real decision.

aww. I was about to laugh when khai ying said "你的眼光从何时变得那么低啊? "
well well... I don't know. I don't think so --
anyway, everything is over.

奇怪的感觉。。

今天我那两个死党
凯莹和佩仪~~
到我家来做assignment
结果做了整个下午都还没做完。。swt..
不过我还蛮开心的
能够和朋友在一起
是一件很幸福的事
不过。。
不知为何，我有一个很严重的问题。。
在人多的地方。。
我会--搞-自-闭
不想说话 好像一直在想些什么一样。。
唉。。
心里好像打翻了五味瓶一样。。

是时候开始努力了。。

是时候开始想想长大以后要当什么。。

是时候拿出持之以恒的心来学习。。

是时候学好华文。。英文。。

是时候放下所有的游戏了。。

bac to my dear school...yc XD

went bac to yc yesterday..
damn fun~ XD
met many friends..
had dinner together..
yc changed a lot ~really!!
aww... sometimes i really wished i could go bac to my old primary school..
how i wished i could go bac to the past..
to where everyone was there..
missed u all..

this is soooo sweet..

We were both young, when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air

I see the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go…
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh, Ohhh

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, please don’t go…
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes
Oh, Ohhh…

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting, for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad-you’ll pick the white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes…
Oh, Ohhh… Oh, Oh, Ohhh…
We were both young when I first saw you...

p/s..nahh..just saw it on my friend's blog..
liked this song..

放得干脆。。

走，也要走得潇洒
放手，也要放得心甘情愿


是真心的祝福
是想让你快乐
是想要你幸福

其实放手也是一种快乐。。
没有遗憾
没有泪水

不要对他纠缠不断
因为那只会伤害对方。。

今天去renew passport..
早上一大早就起床
累死我了。。
身体又不听话。。肚子痛+头痛 （swt..)
等一下要赶着做功课
目的就是为了。。。
要争取最后一个可以和朋友去1u的机会
可是到目前为止。。]
成功的机率好像是零耶。。x.x

feel like goin bac to chong hwa..

今天突然有感而发
非常非常想念你们。。（华， 仪>2, 荥，莹，婷，宁。。）
还有好久。。才能够回到学校啊。。
想念那里的一切。。
待在家里，我快要闷死了。。==

bluek . i missed the school days..

haiz.. damn sad..
this holiday is gonna be really bored~!
can't hang out with friends..
don't have the chance to peep an eye on him..
just stay in the house and prepare for exam!! ..zz..
all i can do is just chat with friends on phone...
T.T.. how i wished i could go to 1u with them..


p/s..jen, u're so damn lucky to hang out with ur friends through the entire holiday..